


My Babys Scars

by domharry1994



Category: One Direction
Genre: Angry Harry, Body Worship, Bottom Louis, Cutting, Mental Illness, Relapse, Sad Louis, Self-Harm, Top Harry, non sexual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-08-03 23:56:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16335806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/domharry1994/pseuds/domharry1994
Summary: Louis is oblivious to his own beauty





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just found this randomly in my notes, figured id post it

"I love you."   
Louis freezes, he looks at harry with a face full if disbelief. Louis goes to deny him but harry shushes him by kissing him gently. Their lips glide passionately, their kiss holding more sparks then usual.  
"I love you." Harry says again, resting his forehead against Louis's. Louis closes his eyes. A warm feeling engulfs his body.  
"I love everything about you." Harry confesses, his voice barely above a whisper.  
The wind dances around them, the flowers slightly swaying with the gentle force. The clouds part and expose the sun. Harry's eyes turn fond as the sunshine kights up the freckles that litter Louis's nose. He can't hold back when he presses a kiss to Louis's nose.  
"I love your nose. Its so cute and its one of my favorite places to press kisses." He emphasizes his point by kissing it again. A gentle smile overtakes louis's face.  
"I love your lips. Theyre so soft and fit between mine perfectly." Harrys smile turns slightly into a smirk, "I love what they can do, too." Louis playfully swatted at him, but kept his eyes closed.   
"I even love these," harry says, his voice turning sad. Louis finally opens his eyes as harry grasps his arm, louis's heart beat faster as he lifted up his sleeve. Harry breathed out deeply through his nose at the cluster of bright red cuts. He didn't hesitate to kiss each one.  
Harry looked up at Louis with teary eyes.  
"Even though I hate that theyre a reminder of how sad you are, theyre still apart of you."  
A tear glided down Louis's cheek, harry immediatly caught it with his finger.  
"I'm sorry. I know it upsets you." Louis said in a small voice.  
"Don't cry, baby, I'll help you stop." Harry promised. He cupped louis's cheek and kissed him again. 

It wasn't easy.  
Many nights were spent with Harry holding a crying Louis with his wrists covered in gashes.  
But then, finally, the urges.. stopped.  
Louis started to go weeks than months, than a whole year without cutting.  
But, a habit never really goes away and sometimes, it comes back just as strong.


	2. relapse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> people are the worst when theyre angry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys decided to randomly post a oart 2 to this one shot, dont mind the mistakes i wrote this on my phone. Ill edit through this at some point

Today was a bad day.  
Louis woke up and the skies were painted in black and grey.  
His body felt slightly sweaty, he stretched out in the bed, feeling disappointed when he felt the lack of his boyfriend beside him. Harry must have already left for work. The usual sunlight that lights up his face every morning was hidden behind clouds full of fury.  
He rose slowly and padded to the bathroom, cringing at his appearance. He lightly ran his fingers over his face. "I'm so ugly" louis said quietly to himself.  
"BABE!" Louis jumped nearly 10 feet in the air, he wasnt expecting Harry to still be home.  
"Yeah babe?" Louis said back, leaving the bathroom and making his way to the kitchen. He raised an eyebrow when he saw harry nearly ripping the place apart.  
"Whats wrong babe?" Louis asked, sensing the angry aura surrounding his usual ray of sunshine.  
"I can't find my fucking keys!" Harry yelled in irritation, louis flinched at his angry tone. "Did you check your pocke-" "of course I checked my fucking pocket!" Harry suddenly yelled, cutting Louis off. A sharp pain went through Louis's chest, this day is already panning out to be the worst. Harrys never yelled at him before.  
Louis watched him frantically look through the junk drawer, "are you going to help me look or just stand there and be useless?" Harry questioned in a condescending tone. Louis gulped down the lump in his throat that was starting to grow.  
"Y-yeah, sorry babe," louis said in a shaky voice, he went over to the coat rack and looked through the coat pockets.  
Harry sighed in annoyance, "I already told you they arent in there." He grumbled. Louis's breath hitched.  
"Ill go look upstairs boo." Louis said quietly, his back to harry so he couldnt see that he was close to crying. Harry didn't respond and louis walked up the stairs back into the bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed and glared out of the window. Why must misery look so beautiful. The sky had dips of grey with light trickles of blue going through like a stream. Louis wished he looked that mesmerizing when he was miserable.  
Harrys footsteps started to sound up the stairs and Louis quickly wiped his cheeks.  
"Found my keys thank god." Harry told him and quickly pressed a kiss to his cheek, not noticing the traces of tears.  
"I love you baby, I'll see you when I get home." Harry told him, barely waiting for louis to say love you back before leaving. 

Louis heard the front door slam and let out a breath. He slightly raised his left wrist, running his fingers along the old cuts. Its been a year since hes cut. One cut certainly wont hurt.  
★TRIGGER WARNING★  
He went into the bathroom and started to run the bath. He looked at himself in the mirror again.  
"Im so tired of feeling like this." Louis mumbled to himself. He crouched down infront of the sink and opened the cabinet drawer and pulled out a razor. He stood up and smashed the head onto the counter, successfully taking the blades out. It felt like a rush of air went through him. It had been so long since he had held a razor.  
He shimmied his boxers off and climbed into the bath, wincing at how hot the water was. He ettled and leaned his back against the faucet side. He frowned at the sight of his bulbous tummy.  
"Youre a shitty boyfriend. Youre ugly, useless and dumb." He whispered under his breath, then he took the razor and swiped it against his thigh. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He had missed the feeling so much. He cut hinself more. And more and more. Until his thigh had 20 cuts, and then he moved to his wrist. He only cut t tines there but it felt so good. He felt truly better about himself after, like he had disciplined himself. 

Hours pass and louis spent a lot of the day cleaning, cooking and watching TV. He was a little worried about Harry seeing the cuts, but he figured he could hide them pretty easy. 

The front door opened and louis got up from the couch and rushed into the front room. His eyes lit up at the sight of harry, Louis squealed when he saw the flowers clutched in harrys hand.  
"These are for you, baby. Im sorry about this morning. Youre amazing and never useless." Harey told him softly, grasping him by the cheek and giving him a passionate kiss. Guilt burrowed in his stomach but he ignored it and kissed harry back.  
"These are beautiful baby, I'll go put thess in a vase."  
"Beautiful like you baby!" Harry responded back, a small smile was present on louis's face for the first time that day.  
Louis took a vase out of the cupboard and started to fill it with water. He giggled when harry wrapped his arms around him from behind and pressed wet kisses to his neck.  
"One second babe, gotta rock a piss," harry told Louis, Louis shook his head in response and finished setting up the flowers.  
He set them on the dining room table and stood for a moment, juat admiring them. The moment was ruined when Harry suddenly yelled from upstairs, "LOUIS, come upstairs to the bathroom!"  
Louis's mouth went dry, didnt he put everything away? Then he remembered, he never let the water drain.  
He slowly made his way up the stairs and entered the room. Harry sat on the edge of the bed, tears streaming down his face. He rose and grasped Louis's arms. Louis tried to wiggle out of his clutch. "Stop babe what are you doing?!" Louis questioned angrily, trying to get harry to let go.  
"Babe, just stop." Harry asked softly, louis looked up at him and his anger dissolved when he saw the devastation in Harrys eyes. He let harry raise his sleeve, he watched as harrys eyes zeroed in on the fresh cuts on his arm. Harrys hand seized louis's wrist and he ran his finger tips over the cuts.  
"These are pretty deep," harry mumbled, his voice cracking. Louis kept silent, just staring at the floor. Harry let go of louis's wrist and hooked his finger under louis's chin and forced him to look him in the eye.  
"Why?" He asked, his eyes looked like he was pleading that it wasnt him. Louis started to fiddle his thumbs nervously.  
"Just felt really really bad," louis said vaguely, harry shook his head.  
"It was because of me, wasnt it?" Louis had never heard harry sound so small, they both cried loudly when Louis nodded.  
"Im so sorry baby," harry sobbed, sinking down onto his knees, burying his face in louis's stomach. "Im so so sorry."  
"Baby, its okay." Louis reassured, rubning his fingers through harrys hair.  
"I cant believe i made you want to hurt yourself." Harry mumbled in disbelief, "those cuts will always be here"  
"Baby..." louis started, "i also cut my thighs.."  
Harry gaped up at him and tugged his pants down, crying at the sight of his loves cut up thighs. He weeped at how much he had hurt his baby.  
"Im never going to keave you alone when youre crying again." Harey vowed.  
"Im going to make sure you never hurt yourself again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comment for more!


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